


Where I Stay, Here I Lay

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Becoming a Pack [16]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Chris and Isaac Friendship, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-15
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 13:07:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Isaac have a lot more in common than Isaac is willing to admit, and as Isaac begins to reconcile with his past, he and Derek have a few things they have to talk about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from a Say Anything song, this one being and Insult to the Dead. The second chapter should be posted sometime this weekend, if not sooner.

[Here be the tumblr](http://schizzar.tumblr.com) if you're interested in updates

 

Isaac stared at the Argent's door for several tense moments, wondering if fleeing before he knocked was a viable option. He was pretty sure his pride wouldn't be able to handle it. After another tense moment, he knocked and then ducked his head. Barely a heartbeat later and the door opened.

"Isaac."

"Hi Mr. Argent."

"I'm not going to shoot you, Isaac, come on in," Chris said. "And you can call me Chris. I don't mind."

Isaac looked up and stepped inside. "Right, okay, so....is Allison here?"

"She's on an afternoon run," Chris said. "Are you here for the files and books?"

"Yeah. Should I just..." Isaac gestured towards the basement.

Chris raised and eyebrow and then moved to open the basement door, heading down the stairs as he spoke. "Come on then. What exactly do you want to read up on?"

Isaac followed after him. "I'm...not exactly sure where to start. What would you recommend?" He stopped at the base of the stairs, eyes widening at the sheer amount of bookshelves. "Oh my God, now I'm even less sure."

"Let's start basic. Less lore, more facts,' Chris said, walking down the second aisle. "Local werewolf packs, though by local I mean all of the west coast."

"How many packs are there?" Isaac asked.

Chris pulled a volume out and handed it to him. "Eight in California, ranging form twenty to sixty members. Their status in relation to the old Hale Pack is updated through the fire."

"That's....that's a lot of werewolves," Isaac said.

Chris headed back towards the staircase. "You have free reign down here. Just don't...get anything mixed up. I'm trusting you with these, but it doesn't take much to lose that trust. Clear?"

Isaac took the book. "Crystal, sir. I won't mess it up."

"Good. I'll be upstairs if you need anything." Chris gave him one last lingering look before heading up. Isaac knew he had questions, but for the life of him couldn't figure out what they could be, or even why Chris was so interested in him. If a hunter was interested in him, he didn't think it could be for anything good, not really.

It didn't take long for Isaac to reshelf the book Chris had handed him. One look at the list of names in the Hale Pack and he had slammed it closed. It felt like he was breaching Derek's privacy looking through it without his permission, without giving Derek a chance to tell him about them all himself.

He lost track of time down in the basement, pouring over all the books they had on other creatures, though eventually his reading took him to look into Kanimas, which brought back a whole host of rough memories. He couldn't help but keep looking and reading though. The Kanima was born of unresolved trauma after all, and for some reason, Jackson had turned into one. But what Isaac couldn't make sense of was how he and Erica and Boyd were able to turn into full blooded werewolves with no trouble.

After a few minutes of thinking it over, he grabbed the book and headed upstairs, glancing around for a moment as he located where Chris was by scent. He was in the kitchen but when Isaac walked in, Chris had his back to him. Isaac paused. He knew Chris' stance well, as he had taken it a lot during his own life. Shoulders hunched, head down, arms close to the chest, knees bent and ready to run. It was the stance of a man who was still running even if he didn't know what from.

"Uh, hi, I got a question," Isaac said after shaking himself out of his thoughts.

Chris jerked and straightened before turning. There was a half empty beer bottle in his right hand and a strained smile on his lips. "Yeah, let's hear it."

"Well it's just..." Isaac shut the book and leaned against the doorframe. "Kanimas. Why didn't Erica, Boyd, or I turn into Kanimas?"

"Why would you?" Chris asked with a frown.

"Well we have our fair share of abusive, traumatic pasts and a lot of...unresolved crap or whatever," Isaac said, trying to keep his tone flippant. "And that's what a Kanima is born from, right? But Erica and I turned out fine, and I mean, Boyd has some unresolved stuff too but he was fine. So why...."

"I suppose my first guess would be that you three have anchors," Chris said. "Even if you couldn't find them on the first few full moons, I'm sure you had them. Jackson, from what I understand, didn't have anything to grab onto as an anchor, and so with that sort of _lack_ , something else can take root, in this case, a Kanima."

"I...I had an anchor. The first full moon and the second," Isaac said, ducking his head. "Erica and Boyd didn't though."

"The first night was the night your dad died, wasn't it?" Chris asked. "You would've been out of control, if you didn't have an anchor, but you say you did."

"My dad's killer was the Kanima. It wasn't me," Isaac said. He straightened up and met Chris' eyes. "I don't know if you guys believe me or not but I swear it wasn't. I would never..." He cut himself off and shook his head. "Thanks. For letting me look through the books and answering my questions. I...there's more I want to look into but maybe I should...go home for now."          

"I'm sorry for bringing that up, it was out of line," Chris said. "Is there anything specific you'd like me to pull for next time?"

Isaac tapped the book against his hand and then passed it over to him. "Other mythical creatures, creatures that might show up in Beacon Hills. Can't hurt to know more about them and Stiles' internet powers only go so far."

Chris took the book with the same strained smile plastered on his lips. "I'll see what I can do. Take care of yourself Isaac."

Isaac's eyes flickered down to the beer bottle. "You too."

He took a deep breath once he was outside the house. He knew Chris was just asking to be sure, was just curious, but it made him uneasy to think about that night. There were some moments when he wondered if he really _had_ killed his father, even though his scent wasn't on the car or the crime scene.

When he got back to the Hale house, Derek was fixing dinner. For a moment, Isaac hovered in the archway, trying to identify the feeling that was twisting his chest and stomach in knots. Derek turned to look at him, setting aside whatever he was cooking and stepping towards him.            

"Did something happen?" Derek asked, brow furrowed in concern. He grabbed Isaac's hands and his thumbs ran soothingly over the back of them.

Isaac shrugged. "Not really. Just been thinking about my dad and stuff too much I guess."

He could almost feel Derek frowning as the Alpha's hands rubbed up and down his arms. "How about we eat and then talk. Erica and Boyd are in tonight too if you want them around."

Isaac nodded, gaze still glued to the floor. "That'd be nice, yeah."

Derek kissed his forehead and let him go.

 

-.-

 

After dinner, Isaac found himself between Derek's legs sitting on the ground in front of the TV with Erica to his left and Boyd to his right. Boyd held his hand, and Erica twisted herself around him like the spider money she was. The closeness of his packmates helped settled the uneasy feeling in his chest, and part of him wished they didn't have to talk at all, but just be close and watch TV.

"So what's wrong?" Erica asked, her voice soft against his ear.

"I...it's stupid. I don't even really know how to explain it..." Isaac leaned back into Derek's chest. "I guess it started because I was looking at the information Chris had on Kanimas and I got thinking about you know...our anchors and stuff."

Derek's arms slid to wrap around his waist. "You all have them, had them before I bit you, so you became werewolves. Jackson didn't have one."

"But my anchor isn't-" Isaac cut himself off, ducking his head and staring at his lap. "It's not right."

"How can your anchor _not_ be right?" Boyd asked. "It's what keeps us human, right? Something we can focus on so we don't lose ourselves. How can anything that does that be wrong?"

"Because it's my dad! My anchor is my piece of shit dad and I wish it wasn't but it is because I still love him and I miss him and I-" Isaac took a shaky breath before folding in on himself further, tears starting slow and then speeding up until he was shaking in the combined grip of his pack.

He curled tight, hand clenching around Boyd's so hard that if he were human, he would've broken it. He could feel Derek's hands around him, could smell Erica's scent, all things that would've calmed him down before but now, now he didn't know how to stop. He missed his dad, had missed him but never mourned for him, and now for some reason, after months, just one small comment had him spiraling out of control.

"Isaac, baby, c'mon," Erica crooned in his ear. "It's okay, just let it out."

Her hair tickled his ear as she slid closer. He wasn't sure how long he sobbed and shook in their arms, and it was a bit embarrassing, but it wasn't like he could help himself. His breathing slowly eased until he was just making soft, hiccupping whines against Erica's throat. Her neck was wet with his tears, and her hands were tangled in his hair, which she used to lightly tug him back until they were looking one another in the eye.

"What do you want us to say? That you're wrong for loving your dad? For finding your humanity in the love you have for him?" She shook her head, eyes full of hurt and sympathy as her hands slid down to cup his jaw. "Just because he was awful doesn't mean you can't mourn him, Isaac..."

Isaac bit his lip. "I never have. I never did. I never mourned him because I was so grateful he was dead and I...what kind of a son am I?"

"Not a bad one."

Isaac turned to look at Boyd, and Erica's hand slid down to squeeze at the back of his neck. "What?"

"You're not a bad person for any of it," Boyd said. "It's like Erica said. You can still love the guy and you can hate him. It's not all black and white, you know? You can be sad and grateful that he's dead, no reason to feel bad about any of it."

"It can't be that easy though," Isaac said.

Boyd dragged him forward into a hard hug, and after a moment, Isaac went limp in his grasp. "Of course it's that easy. Just don't feel guilty for whatever you're feeling. Being guilty for having emotions isn't healthy, believe me. Just...let yourself be mad, and angry, and sad, and don't worry about what it all means. It's all okay."

"He's right," Derek said, setting a soothing hand along Isaac's lower back as Erica slid closer to wiggle her way into Boyd's grasp as well.            

Boyd gave a short laugh when her hair got in his mouth and Isaac couldn't help but smile in response, a smile Erica stole with a kiss. Isaac wasn't sure they could possibly be right. He had never really sat down and analyzed what it was he felt for his dad, the complicated mess of emotions being too daunting and terrifying to sort out on his own.

Derek kissed his jaw. "You're not alone anymore Isaac. You've got us, and we'll take care of you. You have to know that. We won't ever be mad at you for having conflicting feelings towards something. It just means you're human like the rest of us."

Isaac buried his face into Boyd's neck. "How do I stop feeling so guilty all the time?"

"You gotta let it go," Erica said quietly against Isaac's chest. "You can't be mad at yourself. You don't have to forgive your dad or anything, but you can accept....accept what he did and accept that you're justified to feel whatever you want."

"Of course we're just a bunch of teenagers but maybe we're getting the hang of this sorta thing," Boyd said with another, short laugh.

"Maybe," Isaac said. "I just...I'm not good at putting my feelings into words."

"Yeah, well none of us are," Derek said. "Pretty sure we've proven that."

Isaac uncurled a bit and glanced over his shoulder at his Alpha. "That's true I guess. I just hate being a burden."

"It's not a burden," Erica said. She made Isaac turned back to face her. "Isaac, this...all of this isn't one-sided. You help us as much as we help you, or at least as much as you'll let us."

"I just don't know how to let you help," Isaac said, pressing his forehead to hers. "How can you help when I can't even articulate what's wrong."

"Hey, we'll worry about that," Boyd said. He ran a hand over Isaac's curls and then tugged him closer once more. "Just try not to bottle it up so much. Never works, not really."

Isaac closed his eyes, finally letting the tension drain out of his body so he could slump in the combined grip of his pack. "I don't...want to talk about this anymore. If that's okay."

"As long as we do eventually, I guess I can let it slide," Derek murmured in his ear.

"Deal."

           

-.-

 

There was another week before school started, and Isaac had never felt so bad. The pack did their best to try and help him feel better, but all it ended up doing was make him feel smothered and stifled. He loved them all, dearly, but he needed a break, and now he actually had some place else to go.

The Argent's basement quickly became a safe haven over the next few days. He spent hours pouring over information and cramming his head with as many of the rules and treaties between the hunters and the old Hale Pack as well as the new. It was something to take his mind off the festering wound in his chest, and Chris was slowly starting to become good company.

He even saw Allison twice in those few days. She had given him an awkward smile and wave before vanishing out the door. A part of him wished he had something to say to her, but he wasn't quite sure what he _could_ say. "Hey, nice to see you, thanks for literally stabbing me in the back." Somehow, he didn't think that'd go over well.      

"At the risk of scaring you off again, you've been spending an awful lot of time here," Chris said as Isaac came up the stairs, folding the journal shut he used to keep notes since Chris wouldn't let him take the books home.

"Well everyone needs a break," Isaac said. He shoved his pen in his pocket and moved towards the front door.

"You're avoiding your pack."

Isaac froze. "That's not really any of your business."

"Calm down. It's not like I'm looking for any weaknesses. I'm still a hunter, but I don't see any of you as a threat. Not anymore. I'm just concerned."

Isaac's jaw clenched tight and he whirled around. "Why? Why do you care? Why would any of us mean a damn to you?" He couldn't stop the jabbing, accusing finger he poked into Chris' chest, and the irrational anger that was filling him up didn't let him feel even a bit of fear over the action.

"A lot of reasons, the most important being you're my daughter's friends. Maybe things are rough now but...I can't change who she choses to be friends with," Chris said, expression pained. "And I'm learning that the world isn't as black and white as my father tried to tell me. If I can stop you all from making stupid decisions, help keep you alive while you're still kids....then I will."

For a moment Isaac was silent, trying to read the man's expression for any sign of trickery, any sign that he was lying. "I don't...I don't understand you."

"Of course you do," Chris said. "We both had father's who distorted our world view and made us think a lot of things that weren't even close to true. And now we both have to muddle through it in our own way. It's not going to be easy, and I'm just trying to help. But if you don't want it, I understand."

"I'm sorry. I'm just not that good at trusting people like you."

"Like me?"

"People who try to kill me."

"Your father tried to kill you-"

"You don't know a damn thing about my father!" Isaac advanced on Chris once more, slamming him up against the wall as his fists clenched tight and his vision flashed red, just for a moment. "He would never try to kill me. You seem to think you know what happened to me, but all you know is what the police reports would tell you. So stop trying to act like you know anything about me. Stop trying to act like you think you can fix me because you can't!"

"I'm sorry," Chris said lowly. He pushed Isaac away a few feet but otherwise remained where he was. "I just see so much of myself in you that I find it hard not to try."          

"Yeah, well I don't want your help. I can take care of myself," Isaac ground out.

Chris gave a low, bitter chuckle and looked at the ground with a slow shake of his head. "Allison says the same thing."

"Well she's right. She handled me just fine," Isaac said, rubbing at the back of his neck. His shoulders slumped when Chris looked at him once more. "What do you mean though...that you see yourself in me?"

"Don't worry about it. Go home, Isaac. You have your pack to worry about. And I have my family. What's left of it."

Isaac's stomach clenched tight. "This is so fucked up. All of this. I'm turning seventeen in a few weeks and I've seen my dad dead, been stabbed by my friend's girlfriend, and almost died about seven thousand times. I don't want to lose anyone else."

"You won't. Not by our hand," Chris said. "That's all settled. I'm not going to keep pouring salt in that wound. I already told you I just want to help. When you think you're willing to accept that help, we'll be here."

"You know, maybe you need help too," Isaac said after a moment. He moved back towards the door. "It's like you said. You did lose a lot of your family. I'm not the only one who gets what that feels like."

Chris sighed. "Go home, Isaac."

 

-.-

 

"I don't think seeing Mr. Argent is really helping," Derek said as Isaac crawled into bed. "You come back more tense and angry most of the time."

"Yeah well." Isaac turned on his side away from Derek once he was under the covers, and offered no further explanation.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked.

"Chris keeps thinking he can help me," Isaac mumbled into his pillow. "It's like he's trying to be my dad, or you know, a real dad, and he says he understands me and maybe he does, but I don't really know."

Derek reached out to wrap an arm around Isaac's waist and Isaac let himself be pulled back against Derek's chest. He twined his fingers with his Alpha's and sighed.

"I get what it's like to lose people, Isaac, you know that," Derek said.

"Not like this," Isaac said. "Derek, you actually loved your family. It hurt when you lost them. There wasn't some twisted, messed up part of you that was grateful they were dead. You can't understand that, not really." He took a shuddering breath before he lost control and then looked over his shoulder at his Alpha. "But I'm not mad at you or anything. I just...you can't help. Not this time. So you guys should just stop because all you're doing is smothering me."

Derek's expression was worried even when he nodded his assent. "As much as I hate to say this, maybe you should talk to Chris. And Allison."

Isaac gave a small smile. "Guess you're right. You wouldn't be saying ask the Argents for help unless you really meant it."

"Exactly." Derek moved Isaac so they were facing each other once more before kissing him lightly. "Just...sleep for now."

Isaac tucked his face into Derek's neck and did as ordered.

 

-.-

 

Isaac wondered if it would get any easier to knock on the Argent's door. Chris looked surprised to see him, which Isaac sort of expected given that the last time he'd been there was two days ago when he'd yelled at him.

"Uh...I wanted to apologize," Isaac said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I realized that maybe..." He stopped when his chest tightened from anxiety, and he looked up at Chris with a pleading expression. "Could I just come in or something?"

"I was going to offer." Chris propped the door open. "C'mon in to the living room."

"Right."

Isaac slouched down on the couch as Chris took a seat across from him. There were plenty of words stuck in his throat, things he'd been dying to tell anyone who would truly understand.

"I'll start, if you think that would be easier," Chris said. "You want to talk about our similar, let's say upbringings, don't you?"

Isaac gave a tense nod. "I can't imagine Gerard was exactly the best example of great parenting."

Chris dipped his chin. "That would be accurate. He did his best, but his methods of training were borderline abuse and I think that might be why Kate turned out the way she did. My mother was kinder, and she was a positive influence in my life."

"So was mine," Isaac said, the words popping out before he could really think about them. "I mean. To all of us. She was kind of what kept us you know...happy I guess. And then she was gone so we weren't happy anymore."

"You mean he wasn't always bad," Chris said.

"No. He wasn't. It's why he's..." Isaac twisted his fingers together as he avoided Chris' gaze. "It's why he's my anchor. He's what's kept me sane during the full moons. The memories of him being a good person. And it's so messed up because I-" Isaac shook his head, wiping at his eyes before the tears could fall.

"He hurt you and you love him," Chris said. "Perhaps the strongest love of all. He's the spark that keeps you who you are when your bloodlust is at its peak. That must be quite the contradiction to carry inside yourself."

Isaac bit his lip, hard, as a few tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes. "I don't know what to do with it all. I hate him so much."

"But he wasn't all bad. Just like, if you can believe it...Gerard wasn't either," Chris said. "I'm still learning how to reconcile the good with the bad. I'm beginning to realize that you don't have to settle on one way to look at them. You can love them and hate them for everything they've done. You can't hold your own emotions hostage."

"That's what my pack's been saying. But it's harder than just saying that," Isaac said. He wiped the tears away with the edge of his sleeve and finally looked up at Chris.

"Do you ever think about the good times?" Chris asked. "I can't imagine it's something you want to bring up that often."

Isaac shook his head, a bitter laugh breaking out of his chest. "No. They'd think I was crazy. I mean, they'd say it's fine and I know they wouldn't really judge me, but I just don't think it's something they want to hear."

"They don't want to see the humanity in a person they have every reason to hate," Chris said. "It's why I wouldn't even begin to justify any of Gerard's actions to you or Allison." He leaned forward on his knees to stare right in Isaac's eyes. "But if you want to tell me about those times. If you think it would help. I'm listening."

"Only if you tell me too," Isaac said. "You probably think my dad's a scumbag. I think Gerard is worse. I'm not afraid of humanizing either of them, not anymore."

Chris gave a slow nod of his head. "Alright. That's acceptable."

And so, Isaac talked. He talked about his dad trying to teach him to fish, teaching him and Camden to swim. Some of the things he had told Derek. Some of the things, only Matt would've known, the memories were so far back. Chris listened to every story, laughing with Isaac when something was funny, and remaining dutifully silent the rest of the time.

It was refreshing, seeing not an ounce of judgment in Chris' eyes. Eventually, Chris began to offer his own stories. It was hard to hear about how nice Gerard had been, but it helped to hear that there was someone else who felt just as conflicted about it all as he did. A few hours passed that way, and by the end of it, Isaac felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Thank you, for listening," Isaac said, getting to his feet.

"Any time. I meant what I said you know. I do want to help," Chris said as he got up as well and held out his hand for Isaac to shake. "Maybe eventually you'll start to trust me."

"I don't know what it says about me, but I think I already am," Isaac said. He shook Chris' hand and then left without looking back.

He didn't quite trust the feeling in his chest, the light feeling that said he was feeling better, but he didn't want it to go away either.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! I added a few tags after I finished writing this so please keep that all in mind. I hope you like this next and final chapter. I'm super excited to write the next part and I think you're all going to like it. Comments, as always, are loved.

Isaac knew the healing process or whatever wasn't as simple as talking about your feelings once or twice. He knew there was more to work through, but his talk with Chris had triggered something within him. As the rest of the week wore on, closer and closer to the start of school, he realized it was a bit easier to think of his father without feeling like his chest was caving in.

Easier, though still not pleasant, but it was progress and Isaac wasn't going to complain.

There was one thing he couldn't get out of his mind though, and it wasn't something he was exactly keen on talking to Chris about either, though Derek was another matter entirely. Boyd and Erica were back to living at home now that their parents were concerned with curfews and school starting in two days, which left Isaac with enough alone time to talk to Derek.

"You've been giving me this weird look all night," Derek said, turning the TV off. "So you wanna maybe tell me what this is about?"

Isaac got up from the couch, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Uh..."

Derek stood up as well and placed his hands on Isaac's hips. "Sorry. That came out a bit...harsh. It's just ever since you and Chris talked I've just been worried about you."

Isaac blinked in surprise. "Why?"  
"Because the Argents have a history of emotionally manipulating people when they're at their most vulnerable," Derek said, gaze dropping.

"Oh. Yeah. Pretty good reason," Isaac said with a wince.

"But I'm not mad. If Chris Argent was able to help you, then good. I'd do anything if it made you happier," Derek said.

"Well good because I have something in mind and I'm not sure if you're gonna be on board with it, but since you just said that, now you have to," Isaac said, biting his lip when Derek's eyes narrowed.

"I reserve the right to take that back," Derek said.

"I should've had you sign a contract first. Hindsight is such a bitch," Isaac muttered. "But look it's not...something bad. It's just something you keep disagreeing to and I really want this to be something that happens and I think it'd help."

"Go on..."

Isaac pulled back and rubbed at his neck again, unable to stop the way his nervousness made him act. "So I get that it's alright to still love my father and all, but I don't like that he's my anchor because you know, he's not...I don't love him more than I love you or the rest of the pack but...especially you."

"You want your love for me to be your anchor?" Derek asked, eyebrows raising in surprise.

"Yeah..." Isaac said. "And I get it's not just a matter of putting a stamp on it, and it's not some formal official thing but I think it would help if I had something...meaningful that I could attach to it."

"You're going to have to be a lot less vague before I agree to it," Derek said.

"Will you take my virginity?" The words came out in a rush and his gaze immediately shot down to the ground, hoping to avoid seeing Derek's rejection first hand.

"Isaac, we've talked about this a lot, and I'm still not changing my mind," Derek said. "You're too-"

"Young, yeah, but I'm not too young to almost get killed by my classmates, or help you fight hunters, or be beaten by my father and locked in a freezer. All that's okay but the on time I  _chose_  to do something, I get denied," Isaac said, unable to keep the heated anger out of his voice.

Guilt wracked Derek's expression and Isaac ducked his head so he wouldn't have to see it.

"I get it Isaac. Really, I do," Derek said, voice quieter than before. "But I'm not just trying to make your decisions for you. I'm just not entirely comfortable with it."

Isaac's heart plummeted to his stomach as his own guilt eclipsed his anger. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"It's okay." Derek ran a hand through his hair once, a sigh blowing past his lips. Then, he squeezed Isaac's shoulder and headed towards the stairs. "I'd like to sleep on my own tonight, if that's okay."

Isaac's breath caught in his throat. "Yeah, okay."

-.-

The next day, Isaac went to Erica's, because Erica was generally full of wisdom and had more insight to his problems than he ever did. She was in the process of dying her hair a rather violent shade of blue, and said he was allowed to talk about whatever he wanted as long as he helped her avoid trouble with her parents when they came home.

"This stuff smells disgusting," Isaac said with a light cough. He flipped the fan on as well, though he didn't think it'd help much with how strong their senses were.

"Yeah, it's why I'm only doing this once," Erica said, wrinkling her nose up. "So what's got you looking like a kicked puppy?"

Isaac sat down on the edge of the bathtub. "I think I pissed off Derek. I...tried to pressure him into having sex with me."

Erica frowned at her reflection in the mirror. "I thought you two did it all the time."

"We mess around but he hasn't. Ya know..."

"Put his dick in you?"

"Yeah. That," Isaac said.

"So why'd you rush him?"

"I've just been wanting to go all the way. It's really important to me."

"You know we rushed our first time," Erica said. She turned towards him and then knelt so her head was under the bathtub faucet. "I mean, I definitely don't regret it because I love you and you love me so it's all good." She turned the water on and began to rinse her hair out, speaking louder so Isaac could still hear her. "And we all know Derek loves you but maybe he just really wants it to be special and he's worried you're too much in a hurry to slow down and think."

"How could he think this isn't just as important to me as it is to him?" Isaac shook his head.

"Why don't you two try, oh I don't know, communicating with each other? Really." She turned the water off and began to twist her hair, spilling water and dye into the bathtub.

"We communicate fine."

Erica scoffed and looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm not buying that for a second. You two  _pretend_  to communicate. You just assume the other one knows what you're thinking when they almost never do. So yeah. Communicate. It'll get you a lot farther."

"You could've said that all nicer," he said

"That's right I could," Erica said. "But it's more fun this way. Also, my mom's home. Ready to help me explain this?"

Isaac gave a heaving sigh. "I suppose."

-.-

"Derek, I want you to tell me exactly why you won't have sex with me."

Isaac kept his expression firm when Derek looked up from his laptop. The Alpha was reclined on his bed, and at Isaac's demand, his expression grew defensive.

"Why do we have to keep having this conversation, Isaac? Can't you just accept that this isn't something I want to do and move on?"

"Well I could if you'd actually give me a reason. This isn't about us having sex anymore, it's more about you just telling me why so that I don't keep messing up. I want to understand, okay? That's all. And when we're done talking, if it's still a no, then we can wait until I'm eighteen and I'll stop badgering you about it," Isaac said.

For a tense moment, Isaac thought Derek was going to order him out of the room, which to be completely honest, Isaac would understand. But then, Derek shut the laptop and patted the bed beside him.

"Alright, let's talk," he said. "But you have to talk too. I want to know why this means so much to you."

"I thought you were going to fight me more on that to be honest," Isaac said, closing the door behind him and hopping up on the bed. "Could we maybe...I missed you last night and it'd be cool if you could just you know, maybe hold me, or something."

Derek softened and raised an arm up for Isaac to cuddle into. "Sorry. I just needed my space last night."

"Yeah, I know. You were totally within your rights to kick me out, I was being selfish," Isaac said.

"I'd rather you be selfish than self-sacrificing like you usually are," Derek said, nuzzling the top of his head.

"Still...uhm. You first. What about it bugs you so much?"

"A lot of things," Derek said. "For one, you're still a minor until you're seventeen-"

"Not for much longer." Derek glared at him and Isaac looked away. "Sorry, go on."

"And I was sixteen when Kate came to me," Derek said, growing tense beside him. "Same age as you. Pretty older woman came, helped pick me off the ground after a particularly difficult break up, and made me feel like I was the king of the world. Kind of what I did for you. That...what she did was intentional, and I guess I've just been worried that I've unintentionally manipulated you the same way."

Isaac frowned, but didn't immediately try and prove him wrong. He was kind of right after all. Derek  _had_  saved him, had turned his whole world around for the better, though sometimes it didn't feel like it, and he supposed he would let Derek get away with a lot more than he would anyone else, but Isaac was sure that what he felt wasn't just born from their situation.

"I just...don't want you thinking you love me when maybe all you're feeling is gratefulness."

"I'm trying not to get really angry at you for assuming I don't know the difference between love and being grateful. I'm grateful to Scott but I don't feel like I need to make it up to him with sex or something," Isaac said, pulling away from Derek enough that he could look the Alpha in the eye.

"But you do want to have sex with him. We already messed around," Derek said with a frown.

"Yeah, because we all agreed to it," Isaac said. "I'll admit that maybe a few months ago, back when we first started messing around, maybe you were right, but not anymore. I  _love_  you, Derek. I've spent all summer getting to know you and I'm still here, and it's not out of some weird guilt trip where I think I owe you something for saving my life. We've been through too much for it to just be that. So...I'm not trying to change your mind or anything. I just want you to know that I've thought about this a lot and this is what I want. I want the love I have for you to be my anchor, and the most important thing in my life."

Derek reached forward, running a thumb over Isaac's bottom lip with a look of thoughtfulness. "Maybe I've been...babying you too much. Too caught up in what happened to me to realize that we're not the same person. I'm not Kate. And you're nothing like I was back then."

"Yeah. You're nothing like Kate, Derek," Isaac said, grabbing his hand and kissing the back of it. "Hard to believe you'd even think that."

"She left her mark on me," he said. "I think you misunderstood me before though. It's not like I don't want to be with you. I want that probably just as badly as you do, maybe more. I've just wanted to be sure that you actually wanted it and weren't just trying to find some cure all."

"I'm not an idiot. I know this isn't going to fix all my problems or something," Isaac said. "And it's not going to fix all of yours either. But if you're willing, and I'm willing, why aren't we doing anything about it?"

Derek smiled, soft laugher escaping past his lips as he dropped his hand. "Great question. Erica and Boyd are at home, yeah?"

"Yeah," Isaac said, prying Derek's laptop out of his other hand and setting it on the bedside dresser, the action making it so he was leaning in close to his Alpha. "So, if you think now would be a good time..."

Derek's hands framed his jaw and drew him down for a kiss. Isaac gave a soft moan of approval and straddled Derek's thighs as his own long fingers carded through Derek's hair, tongue battling for a deeper taste. His senses were overwhelmed with desire for more of everything; Derek's scent, his taste, anything and everything he could get.

"Whoa, puppy, slow down," Derek murmured, amusement laced through his voice. "Keep rubbing off on me like that and this is going to be over before it gets started."

"I'm sure we can manage a few rounds," Isaac said, smirking against his mouth.

Derek growled into their next kiss, hands fisting in Isaac's shirt and tugging at it. Their lips parted long enough to get it out of the way, and then Derek's hands were all over him, tracing the contour of his spine and ghosting over his ribs as Isaac writhed in his lap and whimpered into his mouth. It was all different than before, if only because Isaac knew exactly where this was all leading, but the sparks of arousal that ignited from each touch Derek gave him was the same as it had always been.

Perfect and glorious and he couldn't get enough.

"Fuck, Derek, please?"

"Please what puppy?" Derek nipped his bottom lip. "What do you want?"

"Wanna come," Isaac panted, rocking against Derek's stomach.

Isaac wasn't sure what he expected, but the next moment, Derek was flipping them over and tugging Isaac's pants down and throwing them off the bed, followed quickly by his boxers. Then he pulled back, leaving Isaac sprawled at the headboard, panting and desperate to be touched.

"I'm gonna take my time with this," Derek said, and when his eyes met Isaac's, they were glowing red.

It sent another thrill of arousal down Isaac's spine and he licked his lips, not breaking the eye contact. "Okay, yeah, that's cool."

Derek pushed himself off the bed and shucked his shirt off, then with a teasing glance, slowly unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down, boxers and all. Isaac gave him a playful glare but Derek was back a moment later, pressing skin to skin as he gave Isaac a deep and probing kiss that left him breathless as he began to slide down Isaac's body.

Isaac couldn't help but flush as Derek shouldered his way between Isaac's legs, having never felt quite as bare as he did now even given all their past experience. His shyness was forgotten in a haze of pleasure when Derek's tongue slid down his cock to lap once, firmly, over his hole.

"D-Derek!"

"Hush, just opening you up," Derek murmured, and then his hands were bracing Isaac's legs wide as he did his best to get Isaac's hole sloppy and wet.

Isaac's head thumped back against the headboard, one hand sliding down to stroke his cock as Derek's licked and sucked, sliding one finger in alongside his tongue. It was a bit rough, and stung a bit, but Derek's saliva slicked the way just enough for the one finger to soon turn pleasurable instead. He barely had his mind together enough to reach out to the dresser and grab the lube, almost catching Derek in the side of the head when he tossed it towards him.

Derek took the hint and pulled back long enough to slick his fingers, moving up to replace Isaac's hand with his mouth. Two fingers slid in the same time Derek began to run his tongue over the tip of Isaac's cock and Isaac let himself go limp, losing himself in the feel of Derek's more than capable hands. It didn't take long for Derek to start stroking over his prostate, massaging it with two fingers, and then three, stretching Isaac wide as his mouth kept up a steady suction, and Isaac couldn't help but buck his hips up into the warmth.

"Gonna come, please let me come," Isaac whimpered, one of his hands sliding down to stroke through Derek's hair. "Derek, please..."

His Alpha pulled off long enough to suck one of Isaac's fingers in his mouth, murmuring his approval, and then took Isaac's cock back down to the root. With a startled cry, Isaac came, shoving the knuckles of his free hand into his mouth to muffle it. Derek drew off his cock and removed his fingers with more care than necessary, but Isaac was grateful for it, his body over sensitized from everything.

Derek's lips caught his in a gentle kiss, and when they parted again, Isaac couldn't help but smile at the look in Derek's eyes.

"So that took the edge off," he said, reaching up to run the back of his knuckles over Derek's jaw.

"Yeah? Think you can come on my cock then?" Derek asked, voice a low and husky murmur against Isaac's lips.

Isaac groaned, sucking at Derek's bottom lip. "Yeah, definitely."

Derek's hands worshipped him, sliding up and down his sides as they kissed again, slow and delicious until Isaac's heart rate settled to something a bit more stable. Isaac liked the feel of Derek's hands on him, the way it made him feel safe and owned and  _good_ , and he couldn't help but let out small gasps and sighs as Derek's fingers lightly skimmed over his nipples.

"Whenever you're ready," Derek murmured, ducking down to nuzzle at Isaac's neck and suck a few marks into his collarbone.

"Now is good," Isaac said. "I've been wanting this for awhile..."

Derek slid his lips back up to press against Isaac's, and then began to push his cock in, one hand keeping a steady and firm pressure against his hip as he did so. Isaac's back arched, lips breaking away from Derek's as his breath caught, mind trying to process it all, memorize everything about it. He went limp against one of Derek's hands holding him close under his lower back. Derek held himself still within him, kissing Isaac's lips and jaw with fluttering kisses that helped keep them both calm.

"You should, move maybe," Isaac managed to gasp out.

Derek buried his face in Isaac's neck and drew out just a bit before pushing back in, sliding deep and rotating his hips in a way that had Isaac unable to hold back his moans. He kept the pace slow, which Isaac found himself liking more than he thought he would. It was like Derek was burning the feel of them being connected in both their minds, and it warmed his chest and his gut to know Derek wanted him to feel everything.

It was different than he expected though. Their past encounters had been fast and hard and amazing, but this, this was just as good if not better in an entirely different way that Isaac knew he'd be craving for a long time after.

Isaac broke their kiss to wrap his arms around Derek's shoulders and pull himself up to suck a mark into Derek's neck, already making another one as the first began to fade. Derek's hips jerked, as if he was having trouble resisting the urge to take Isaac harder, and Isaac found suddenly that  _that_  was what he wanted. He wanted to be taken and claimed, not just loved, he wanted it all, every way he could have it.

"You don't have to keep holding back," Isaac said, lips pressed tight against Derek's ear. "I love you and I want everything you can give me."

"God, Isaac, you're perfect."

Derek's hands shifted down to grab Isaac's hips in a tight grip, and abruptly, his thrusts became harder and more desperate. Isaac arched into it, and as he bared his throat, Derek growled and nipped at it, sucking a hard mark Isaac knew he would have no luck covering, not that he'd ever want to. Any mark Derek left on him was a mark he wanted.

Isaac clawed at Derek's back as he began thrusting harder, rubbing his cock up against the hard planes of Derek's stomach to try and chase down his own pleasure once more. Derek's hand slid up to fist in his hair, craning his neck back further before he took Isaac's lips in a deep and plundering kiss that left him breathless and gasping on the mattress.

"C'mon Derek, I'm so close, just give me your hand," Isaac begged, hands clenching at Derek's shoulders.

"Said you were gonna come on my cock," Derek growled into his neck. "So do what you said."

He shoved hard up against Isaac's prostate and Isaac gave a loud shout of Derek's name, the combination of the words and everything he was feeling pushing him over the edge before he knew what was happening. Gasping, he collapsed back, unable to keep his arms up any longer.

Derek kissed him hard and after a few more short thrusts, stilled within him. Isaac could feel Derek whispering out his name through the kiss and it brought a smile to his lips. Derek pulled out of him slowly, kissing away Isaac's wince.

For a long while, they lay tangled up within one another, exchanging soft kisses as their hands roamed over one another's bodies. As the sweat began to cool, Isaac couldn't help but start shivering and Derek took it as his cue to go up to the bathroom and come back with a warm washcloth to wipe them both down with, though he tossed it in the corner once he was back in bed.

"No sense in getting back up," he said at Isaac's raised eyebrows. "Under the covers, pup."

"Yeah, yeah," Isaac said, sliding beneath them and then wrapping himself around Derek.

Derek crushed him close and buried his face in Isaac's neck, his breath warm and comforting against his skin. "Love you."

"I love you too, Derek."

As they began to drift off to sleep, Isaac couldn't help but think that things finally felt as though they had come full circle. He wasn't sure there was much of anything that could chase away the feeling of peace within him.


End file.
